Patience: A non-existent word in the Israeli driver's vocabulary

Israelis are known to have no patience. Unfortunately their lack of patience extends to the roadways. Some of the major issues I see are drivers cutting each other off, drivers who don't use their blinkers and drivers who honk their horns like crazy if you idle for a half a second at a green light. One day, as I was crossing the street, a cab driver honked at me because I wasn't walking fast enough! I turned to him and said "what the fuck is wrong with you?! have some goddamn patience!" I got a few stares from the people at the bus stop I was walking to, but I didn't care.

This weekend, after spending a great shabbos in Modiin with friends, my husband and I took the bus back to Jerusalem. What should have been a 25 minute drive, turned into a 2 hour harrowing experience.

As our bus back to Jerusalem emptied a bit, I was finally able to sit next to my husband. Shortly after I sat down, I noticed out of the corner of my eye that the bus in the lane next to us was coming way to close. Just then, our bus driver slammed on his brakes and everyone went flying forward. "Jesus Christ!" I exclaimed, as I grabbed on to my husband's arm. As a religious woman wearing a head covering, on a bus carrying many ultra orthodox Jews, I really should watch my mouth but that's who I am=) Our bus driver opened his door and yelled and cursed at the bus driver who almost hit us when he tried cutting us off. Our bus driver even spat at the other driver before shutting the door and driving off. Someone on our bus applauded our driver.

As we got into town, our bus driver almost ran over 2 police officers because the officers weren't looking as they crossed the road! If the police don't even look as they cross the road, what does that say about the people in our country? Again our driver opened the door and told the cops off. As the bus driver was closing the door and began to drive off, I saw a man run toward the door of the bus. It looked like our bus had hit him, especially since the bus lurched to a sudden stop. Thankfully, the man wasn't hit. He stupidly jumped on the moving bus as the doors were closing at an area that wasn't even a bus stop! to make matters worse, the man jumped on the bus in front of the police officers our bus driver had just reprimanded! The driver yelled at him and told him to get off the bus. The police officers yelled at the man. Everyone was yelling at everyone that night!

We finally made it home safely, but the Israelis lack of patience really gets to me. There is no reason for it. The world isn't going to come to an end if someone doesn't get to their destination on time.

I never get off the bus from the back door anymore. I'm always afraid the driver will close the door before I have gotten off the bus. One time the driver closed the door on my leg as I was stepping off from the back door of the bus. Thankfully the other passengers on the bus yelled and he stopped driving. After that incident I will only get off the bus from the front door so I know the driver sees me. I don't care how many people get upset with me that I get off the bus via the front door as they are trying to get on the bus.

The other thing that shocks me is that some bus drivers will be talking on their phones while driving or taking bus fare from people. One day I was behind a few people as I was getting on the bus. In that situation, I always try and make eye contact with the bus driver so that he doesn't close the door and start driving as I'm trying to get on the bus. This time, as I was stepping on the bus, the driver began to drive! I yelled and he stopped. When I got on the bus, I noticed he was on his phone. Fuming mad, I muttered something in English and sat down behind the driver. The conversation he continued to have on the phone was a casual shooting the breeze conversation! I was shocked and disgusted that he chose that time to have a phone conversation.

The Israelis lack of patience has also proven fatal many, many times. Every Sunday, the amount of people killed on the roads that weekend is announced. It is a very sad announcement, because they don't just announce a number. Accompanied by somber music, the name, age and city where the person was from is mentioned. Last Sunday, I lost count of the number of fatalities the announcer mentioned but I do remember that many of those killed were in their 20s and 30s. After the names are mentioned, the commercial goes on to say "we have to stop this." Reckless driving is a serious problem in this country. That's probably why nearly every commercial on the radio is about road safety, but I feel that those commercials fall on deaf ears many times.

One day last week on the bus to town, we had another close call with a driver who entered our lane without using his blinker. As everyone settled down, an old woman sat down next to me. She told me her granddaughter had called her that morning hysterically crying because she saw a woman get killed by a car. The woman had crossed the street at a red light. A taxi hit her so hard that she went flying into the air before hitting the ground. That story stayed with me for a few days afterward. If only that woman had had a bit of patience, she would be alive today.

In 2006, when I was interning at an online news station , I stayed away from buses because I was afraid of suicide bombings. One night as I was walking out with a co-worker who was taking the bus home, I mentioned that I didn't want to take the bus because I was afraid of an attack. My co-worker laughed and said that I was more likely to get hurt or killed in a car accident then I was in a bus bombing. After having lived here 3.5 years, I see that unfortunately he is so right.

Customer service? Never heard of it!

The one thing many people who live in Israel will agree on, is that Israelis wouldn't know what customer service meant if it bit them in the ass.

The cable and internet companies are the worst to deal with. In Israel, you have to have two companies, one cable and one internet, just to have one service. How screwed up is that? Even after 3 years here, that still confuses me and I don't remember which company works with each. I even mix up the names of our ISP/cable provider because I can't remember which is which anymore.

Since my Hebrew isn't fluent like my husband's, he deals with our cable and internet providers whenever we have a problem. Recently, we were offered a great deal that would increase our speed. Since I work from home with VOIP, we signed on for the faster speed. That same day, I began having problems with my work line. The reception was horribly choppy and I was getting every other word the person on the other end said. We called back the internet and cable companies to complain.

The company said my phone issues had nothing to do with the speed and that we had to call our other provider. Going between 2 companies on the phone is usually an ordeal which lasts days. Usually my husband ends up extremely frustrated to the point of screaming and cursing at the people on the other end. No one can ever give you a straight answer, much less do they give the customer a chance to get a word in edgewise. You get passed from person to person eventhough you asked for the manager 20 minutes ago, and they apparently don't care if they wake you in the morning when you specifically asked to be called at a certain time. To top it off, the person who woke you up wasn't even the manager you asked to speak with several times to begin with! Then in typical Israeli style, the cable/ISP providers make you feel like whatever problem you're having is your fault, and many times the customer ends up getting yelled at by the person who works for the company.

After 3 frustrating days of back and forth phone calls we were told that the cable/ISP company doesn't support the higher speed in our neighborhood we had signed on for. So....if they knew that, why did they call us to offer such a "great" deal? They finally put our speed back to the way it was and I was able to work again.

Politeness doesn't go very far here with many people. I don't need someone to pretend to be nice just because I'm a customer. I find that fakeness very annoying, but I do expect to be able to have a normal conversation with the person on the other end.

Calling the health clinic sometimes requires backbone. One time I called to make a doctor's appointment with a specialist. The receptionist who answered didn't sound so happy. I tried making the appointment and she was all in my face because I didn't have the name of the doctor. I tried explaining to her that I could see anyone in the Gastroenterology department, but she wasn't listening. She just kept ranting on and on. This was the service I got in the private medicine department! I eventually gave up and hung up.

On a different occasion, I called my gastro doctor to ask him a question about the medication I was taking. The secretary who sounded annoyed that I even called wouldn't let me get a word in, but I interrupted her rant and said very firmly in Hebrew "Excuse me but I am on medication and I need to talk to my doctor!" She took my message.

The one place I always leave smiling is our bank down the block from our apartment. The two old men who are the tellers are genuinely warm, and very, very funny. Whenever I go there, I feel like I'm visiting my grandfather. They always smile at me as I'm waiting in line and say Shalom hamuda (cutie). They always ask how things are and crack a joke or two. I remember when I went to bank my first check. I had been working a couple weeks, so my check wasn't anything to write home about. I gave the check to the teller. He looked at the amount and said "this isn't a salary, this is bullshit." we had a good laugh.

Unfortunately banks are only open for a few hours in the morning and on some days, a few hours in the afternoon. God forbid they should have 9-5 hours like in a normal country. I think they like to see people race to get in on time, like I did today, at 5 minutes to closing time It was a warm day and I had just walked the dog, so I was hot, tired and really had to pee. I didn't bother with pleasantries. "I have to bank this," I said. "Wait,"said Sholom the teller. "That's not how we do things here. How are you? how's everything? I like you. You always smile. Why aren't you smiling hamuda? Seeing you smile makes me happy."

On the white board behind them in big letters, "WE ARE HAPPY TO SERVE YOU!" is written complete with a smiley face. This isn't just a line to the customers. The bank tellers behave the way they do toward each customer because they actually care and are warm people. I wasn't in the greatest mood whenI walked in to the bank, but I walked out of the bank with a big smile on my face.