Customer service? Never heard of it!

The one thing many people who live in Israel will agree on, is that Israelis wouldn't know what customer service meant if it bit them in the ass.

The cable and internet companies are the worst to deal with. In Israel, you have to have two companies, one cable and one internet, just to have one service. How screwed up is that? Even after 3 years here, that still confuses me and I don't remember which company works with each. I even mix up the names of our ISP/cable provider because I can't remember which is which anymore.

Since my Hebrew isn't fluent like my husband's, he deals with our cable and internet providers whenever we have a problem. Recently, we were offered a great deal that would increase our speed. Since I work from home with VOIP, we signed on for the faster speed. That same day, I began having problems with my work line. The reception was horribly choppy and I was getting every other word the person on the other end said. We called back the internet and cable companies to complain.

The company said my phone issues had nothing to do with the speed and that we had to call our other provider. Going between 2 companies on the phone is usually an ordeal which lasts days. Usually my husband ends up extremely frustrated to the point of screaming and cursing at the people on the other end. No one can ever give you a straight answer, much less do they give the customer a chance to get a word in edgewise. You get passed from person to person eventhough you asked for the manager 20 minutes ago, and they apparently don't care if they wake you in the morning when you specifically asked to be called at a certain time. To top it off, the person who woke you up wasn't even the manager you asked to speak with several times to begin with! Then in typical Israeli style, the cable/ISP providers make you feel like whatever problem you're having is your fault, and many times the customer ends up getting yelled at by the person who works for the company.

After 3 frustrating days of back and forth phone calls we were told that the cable/ISP company doesn't support the higher speed in our neighborhood we had signed on for. So....if they knew that, why did they call us to offer such a "great" deal? They finally put our speed back to the way it was and I was able to work again.

Politeness doesn't go very far here with many people. I don't need someone to pretend to be nice just because I'm a customer. I find that fakeness very annoying, but I do expect to be able to have a normal conversation with the person on the other end.

Calling the health clinic sometimes requires backbone. One time I called to make a doctor's appointment with a specialist. The receptionist who answered didn't sound so happy. I tried making the appointment and she was all in my face because I didn't have the name of the doctor. I tried explaining to her that I could see anyone in the Gastroenterology department, but she wasn't listening. She just kept ranting on and on. This was the service I got in the private medicine department! I eventually gave up and hung up.

On a different occasion, I called my gastro doctor to ask him a question about the medication I was taking. The secretary who sounded annoyed that I even called wouldn't let me get a word in, but I interrupted her rant and said very firmly in Hebrew "Excuse me but I am on medication and I need to talk to my doctor!" She took my message.

The one place I always leave smiling is our bank down the block from our apartment. The two old men who are the tellers are genuinely warm, and very, very funny. Whenever I go there, I feel like I'm visiting my grandfather. They always smile at me as I'm waiting in line and say Shalom hamuda (cutie). They always ask how things are and crack a joke or two. I remember when I went to bank my first check. I had been working a couple weeks, so my check wasn't anything to write home about. I gave the check to the teller. He looked at the amount and said "this isn't a salary, this is bullshit." we had a good laugh.

Unfortunately banks are only open for a few hours in the morning and on some days, a few hours in the afternoon. God forbid they should have 9-5 hours like in a normal country. I think they like to see people race to get in on time, like I did today, at 5 minutes to closing time It was a warm day and I had just walked the dog, so I was hot, tired and really had to pee. I didn't bother with pleasantries. "I have to bank this," I said. "Wait,"said Sholom the teller. "That's not how we do things here. How are you? how's everything? I like you. You always smile. Why aren't you smiling hamuda? Seeing you smile makes me happy."

On the white board behind them in big letters, "WE ARE HAPPY TO SERVE YOU!" is written complete with a smiley face. This isn't just a line to the customers. The bank tellers behave the way they do toward each customer because they actually care and are warm people. I wasn't in the greatest mood whenI walked in to the bank, but I walked out of the bank with a big smile on my face.